


Let Me Love You

by Jam_less



Category: Kpop - Fandom, carat - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-13
Updated: 2018-04-13
Packaged: 2019-04-22 08:53:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14305170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jam_less/pseuds/Jam_less
Summary: Fate seems to be against Jihoon and Seungcheol, who have found themselves torn apart despite their deep love for one another, Seungcheol determined to do whatever it takes to mend their relationship.





	Let Me Love You

I used to believe  
We were burnin' on the edge of somethin' beautiful  
Somethin' beautiful  
Selling a dream  
Smoke and mirrors keep us waitin' on a miracle  
On a miracle

 

Seungcheol set his glass down on a table a few feet away from himself, quickly sprouting an excuse and presenting it with forced regret to the group he had been socializing with before he slipped through the crowd, heading towards the exit via the quickest possible path, his head throbbing as the colorful lights flashed and the music pounded on, the many people who were present adding to the noise and chaos.

He quickly weaved between people-most of whom he knew-careful to keep his head down so as not to be recognized and stopped to chat with. Only a week ago, he would have stayed much longer, enjoying the company of so many people and socializing, his extroverted self excitedly meeting new people and reuniting with old friends. 

But as of recently, he found no joy in such events, seeing through the fake smiles of others and only finding the very pain in which he sought to escape. At moments, the lights seemed to burn into his soul, the music pounding at him and only re-sparking the loss he had so carefully covered up. The people who had once given him refuge in their presence seemed to drown him in their fake joy, their false hopes.

It was at such times that Seungcheol felt himself slipping, his mind slowly snapping under the burden of his pain, and in such moments, he sought the crisp night air, and the peaceful quiet of the sleeping city. 

Being one of those moments that were slowly growing more common, Seungcheol felt the need for quiet growing urgent as barrier after barrier shot up between himself and the exit. As he grew closer, he began to force himself between people, no longer weaving around them but barging straight through.

He kept his hood up so as not to be recognized, and nobody made a move to stop him on his way to the door, or even as he reached his goal and slipped out of the room. He walked down a short hallway until he reached another set of doors, this one opening to reveal the dark city streets, almost empty. 

The welcoming quiet of the streets eased the throbbing of his head, and he felt the pressure that had been building in his chest release, allowing him to breathe fully once more. 

Seungcheol took a few more steps out onto the pavement until he stood on the curb, the suffocating noise of the party muffled by the doors that seemed to trap the chaos on the other side. 

Being the leader of Seventeen, socializing and making friends was an important part of his job that he would not be forgiven if he overlooked, so he would eventually have to send himself back through the doors he had just exited, though for the time being he let the thought be chased away by the crisp night air which cleared his thoughts, and momentarily set him at peace.

 

Say, go through the darkest of days  
Heaven's a heartbreak away  
Never let you go, never let me down  
Oh, it's been a hell of a ride  
Driving the edge of a knife  
Never let you go, never let me down

 

"It helps, doesn't it?" Seungcheol turned quickly as the voice reached his ears, his eyes locking onto the short, blond boy who leaned against the wall next to the door, his arms crossed and face cold, his eyes betraying his emotions as he looked at the ground near Seuncheol's feet. "Being somewhere quiet. It helps to drive away the pain."

"Jihoon," Seungcheol tested the name on his lips, unable to remember the last time it had rolled off his tongue. As he looked at the boy ahead of him, he suppressed the urge to confess everything that had been on his mind in recent days, instead coming up with something simple. "What are you dong here?"

"Same as you," The younger boy responded. "Looking for somewhere quiet. I've never liked crowded places, as you know."

Everything Jihoon said pulled Seungcheol into the past, the familiar voice causing spoiled memories to resurface. Even as he fought to clear his mind, Seungcheol felt the memories being brought back to him, pulling him unwillingly back into his past. 

Seungcheol walked quickly across the midnight streets of the city, his phone clutched between his fingers as he navigated the sidewalks by memory.

It was late enough that few cars roamed the roads, and there was no light to be seen in the sky other than that of the few dim stars that twinkled above the buildings. The street lights lit the path ahead of him, allowing for easy travel. 

He arrived at a small building, confidently entering and racing up two sets of stairs till he found the apartment door he was looking for. 

Seungcheol reached for the doorbell, but stopped himself for a second to straighten his jacket and fix his hair which had become a mess on his way up the stairs. Then he slipped his hands into his pockets by habit before quickly clicking on the doorbell and bouncing on the balls of his feet nervously. 

 

Don't you give up, nah-nah-nah  
I won't give up, nah-nah-nah  
Let me love you  
Let me love you  
Don't you give up, nah-nah-nah  
I won't give up, nah-nah-nah  
Let me love you  
Let me love you  
Oh baby, baby

 

Only a few moments passed before the door in front of Seungcheol slipped open, a small figure peering out into the dark hallway. His eyes locked with Seungcheol, and he looked around in a manner that almost seemed nervous before pulling the older boy into his well-lit apartment and closing the door behind them. 

"What are you doing here?" Jihoon hissed, turning back to him. "It's 1:00, you should be asleep!"

"I wanted to see you before you left for the airport, Woozi," Seungcheol confessed, "I thought it would be a nice surprise."

Jihoon turned from the taller boy, running a hand through his hair and sighing as he looked at his spotless apartment, his suitcase stashed ready to go near the door. "You can't keep doing this," Jihoon sighed, before turning back to Seungcheol. "You need to stop wasting your time on me like this."

"It's not a waste of time if it makes you smile," Seungcheol responded, twisting the ring around his pointer finger, confused by the younger boy's unusual behavior. "Why are you saying this just now? Woozi, is something wrong?"

"Everything's falling apart," Jihoon shook his head. "We can't keep seeing each other like this."

"I don't understand," Seungcheol let out an uneasy laugh, furrowing his brows at the words spoken by the younger boy. 

"You know exactly what I'm saying. We can't keep seeing each other," his eyes seemed to be filled with an unreadable emotion, and Jihoon looked away for a moment, turning back with a much more calm appearance, his eyes now almost seeming cold and empty. 

"Why not?" Seungcheol asked, stepping towards Jihoon, who in turn stepped away. "We already discussed this, there was no reason to split up!"

"There is now," Jihoon responded, his voice revealing the pain he was hiding. "We can't continue this because..." he choked on his voice for a moment, shaking his head before continuing, "...because there's someone else."

Realization dawned on Seungcheol and he stepped back, astonished, "You mean to tell me that you're with someone else?"

Jihoon seemed to panic, reaching out for Seungcheol only to be stepped away from again. "Yes. And no. I really like them, but I haven't told them yet because I'm with you, and I can't go on like this. I need you to understand."

"I understand perfectly," Seungcheol let out a small laugh, though there was no humor in the situation. "I can't be here." He turned, attempting to hold back the tears that threatened to burst from his eyes as he pulled open the apartment door and left, slamming it behind him with finality. 

 

Don't fall asleep  
At the wheel, we've got a million miles ahead of us  
Miles ahead of us  
All that we need  
Is a rude awakening to know we're good enough  
Know we're good enough

 

"How have you been lately? Did you tell-" Seungcheol's voice caught in his throat, but Jihoon picked it up for him, understanding his meaning perfectly. 

"I've been doing fine," he said, looking down at his hands, which he fiddled with nervously. "Yeah. I told her, and she was really happy," he seemed to laugh at the memory, is face brightening. "We've been doing pretty well." 

Seungcheol grew surprised as he realized it was a girl Jihoon had fallen for, but the initial shock faded away quickly. Jihoon had never expressed an interest in boys before Seungcheol, and it was possible that he hadn't even felt anything in their relationship, but the thought was quickly pushed away, causing more pain than it was worth. 

Jihoon continued to speak, though he seemed hesitant to do so, and Seungcheol felt his heart sinking, his mind latching around how Jihoon smiled when he spoke of her, how his voice seemed to lift, and how his eyes lost the sparkle of pain when he thought of her. 

"I'm sorry, but I really should be going," Seungcheol cut off Jihoon, who had begun to speak again. "I have to see some old friends." He gave his best apologetic smile, stepping towards the door and opening, before he felt someone stop him, grabbing on to his arm in a rock-hard grip. 

Seungcheol turned to see Jihoon standing behind to him, his eyes unreadable. For a few moments they looked at each other, not moving, before Seungcheol pulled his arm from the now loose hand gripping it and left the other boy in silence, the party that he had been running from earlier now providing him with refuge.

 

Say go through the darkest of days  
Heaven's a heartbreak away  
Never let you go, never let me down  
Oh it's been a hell of a ride  
Driving the edge of a knife  
Never let you go, never let me down

 

Seungcheol stepped out of the taxi he had called, his blood rushing through him. His jaw was set in determination as he took long strides towards the familiar apartment building in front of him. His hands were curled into fists, hidden away in his pockets as he entered the building, heading to the stairs which he flew up, three steps at a time. 

It was a mixture of anger, longing, and determination that drove him up the second set of stairs even faster than the first. His heart beat at the thought of how close he was to his destination, and he slowed his pace as he approached the door he was looking for. 

Once he reached the door, his fist moved for him, pounding on the painted wood before returning to a rest at his side. 

His body was tense, everything on edge as he waited for the seconds that seemed stretch much longer to slowly pass. No thoughts of what he was doing passed through Seungcheol's mind as he stood, waiting for the door to open, passion and longing pushing him to think of nothing else until he heard a soft click from the other side of the door. 

As soon as the click passed through his ears, Seungcheol was done waiting. He flung the door in front of him open, and in a few strides pinned the younger boy who stood behind the door against the wall, crashing their lips together as his arms slipped to the back of Jihoon's neck, pulling him closer. 

It was as if, with this one contact all of the anger spilled from Seuncheol's body, replaced by the pleasure of being so close to the younger boy in front of him, peace replacing his excitement and allowing him to relax. All of the sudden, his knees felt weak, and any thought of why he had come here fled his mind, yet none of it mattered. It was the sensation of being able to pull Jihoon closer that brought him to his senses, and in the end, forced him to pull away even though his counterpart had made no move to break their contact. 

As Seungcheol pulled away, he suddenly became nervous to speak, watching Jihoon's eyes slip open, staring into his own with a sadness that tore his heart into many pieces. 

"I'm not going to let you do this," Seungheol finally gathered the strength to speak, his insides twisting. "I know what happened, but... Why would you do something like that?"

There was silence as Jihoon stayed perfectly still, not moving from where he stood against the wall. As the older boy spoke, surprise and relief flashed across his eyes.

"Who told you?" he asked, finally stepping forwards, a mask of calmness returning to his features.

The memory of that very morning began to fill Seungcheol's mind, and he sighed, spilling the story to Jihoon who stood an listened, his eyes locked on the hardwood floor as he imagined the scene.

 

Don't you give up, nah-nah-nah  
I won't give up, nah-nah-nah  
Let me love you  
Let me love you  
Don't you give up, nah-nah-nah  
I won't give up, nah-nah-nah  
Let me love you  
Let me love you  
Oh baby, baby

 

"Seungcheol, there's something I need to tell you," Jeonghan stepped into the leader's office, the tone of his voice hinting at the importance of what he needed to say. 

Seungcheol looked up from where he sat at his desk, working hard over his laptop. In the recent days, he had filled his schedule with working here, giving up all free time in order not to let his mind stray across painful fields of memory. Many of the other members had noticed his change, though few of them knew what the cause was. Jeonghan happened to be know of these few, and Seungcheol sat up and turned to face him, listening closely."Yes?" he asked, rubbing at the dark circles which hung under his eyes. "What is it?"

Jeonghan took a deep breath before stepping into the office and closing the door behind him. "You can't leave Woozi."

Seungcheol sighed, turning back to his work, no longer interested. His chest began to fill with his hidden pain, and he closed his eyes in an attempt to drive away all thoughts related to the matter."I didn't leave him, he left me. If that's all you wanted to say, you can leave now."

"You don't understand," Jeonghan persisted, "you can't let him leave. He loves you. He's told me what you mean to him, and I know for a fact he could never change his mind so quickly."

"Well apparently he did!" Seungcheol felt anger surging through him and he stood up, turning to Jeonghan. "If it was up to me, I would never leave his side, not once! But it isn't up to me, and I've done everything I can to try and sway him. Some things just don't work out, Jeonghan, and if that's all you wanted to tell me, then you need to leave."

Jeonghan took a step back, shocked by the sudden anger of his usually calm and collected leader. But determination pushed him to step forwards again, words slipping through his lips. "He's lying to you, Coups. There isn't anyone else." Jeonghan stopped, giving Seuncheol time to wrap his mind around what he was saying. "You can't leave him because if you do, it'll be his fault and he won't be able to live with himself. There isn't anyone else, but he wants you to think there is so you'll move on from him."

"Why would he do that?" Seungcheol interrupted, disbelief obvious in his voice, but a flicker of hope crossing his features.

"He's doing it for you," Jeonghan continued. "He doesn't want you to get hurt. If rumors got out, it could ruin your career, your life. Woozi's trying to protect you, Coups. Everything he's doing right now is to stop you from getting in harm's way, which shows that you can't let him do this. He's putting you over himself, caring for you while neglecting his own needs." Jeonghan paused as he gathered his thoughts once more, "He really does love you, Seungcheol. If you love him back, right now is the time to show it, the time he needs it most."

 

...Never let you go  
Never let you go (oh no no no no)  
Never let you go (yeah yeah)  
I'll never let you go  
Don't you give up, nah-nah-nah  
I won't give up, nah-nah-nah  
Let me love you  
Let me love you  
Don't you give up, nah-nah-nah  
I won't give up, nah-nah-nah  
Let me love you  
Let me love you

 

"You can't lie to me anymore. Even if it's to protect me. That's why I came, Woozi. Because I don't want you to get hurt. Because I... I love you." As soon as the three words left Seungcheol's mouth, he knew without a doubt that they were true.

Every second they had spent apart tore at his soul, and now that they were here together, he had no doubt in his mind that he heart held unconditional love for the boy who stood in front of him. Even being so much as a couple of steps away left a gap in himself, one which he felt an overwhelming urge to fill by embracing Jihoon once more. 

As Seungcheol spoke, he watched tears begin to spill from Jihoon's eyes, the younger boy's calm and collected state slowly disintegration until he stepped back, leaning against the wall once more, this time for support as tears rolled down his cheeks. 

As Seungcheol knew well, Jihoon rarely ever showed his pains or emotions, much less cried in front of someone else. The sight only made it harder for him to speak, wishing only to comfort his counterpart.

Instead, Seungcheol continued, his heart beating rapidly in anticipation for a response. "There's the part inside me that feels empty when I'm not near you, and it's overwhelming. I can only think of you, no matter what I do. I haven't been able to sleep because of it, and I'm always distracted. It's not helping me for you to do this, and looking at you right now, I know it isn't helping you either. If you truly care for me, if you truly love me, please, stop trying to protect me. Just-" Seungcheol took a deep breath, his stomach twisting inside him as he spoke, tears threatening to spill from his eyes. "Let me love you."

There was a moment of silence before Jihoon responded, and when he did, his voice was weak, broken by the pain he had put himself through while trying to protect Seungcheol. "I just-" Jihoon's voice caught in his throat as he tried to speak through tears. He took a deep breath, wiping at his face with his sleeve before trying again. "I didn't want to hurt you," he spoke softly "You are everything to me. My entire world revolves around you right now, and even if I was given the chance, I wouldn't change a thing about it."

"It's okay," Seungcheol stepped forwards, wiping away Jihoon's tears with a soft, sweet smile and tilting his head back so they were looking into each other's eyes, only an inch of space separating them. "You have my world too. All of it. And I wouldn't have it any other way."

Seungcheol closed the inch separating them, closing his eyes as he met Jihoon's lips in a soft kiss that set his skin on fire and sent a shiver down his spine. He felt as if he was soaring above the clouds, and the sensation lingered even as he had to pull away.

A smile upturned the edges of his lips, and he rested his chin on Jihoon's head as he pulled the younger boy closer, warmth spreading through him as Jihoon wrapped his arms around his waist. "I love you so much," Seungcheol whispered, savoring each word as they parted his lips. 

"I love you more," the soft response drifted into his ears, but Seungcheol was too tired to respond, content with pulling Jihoon closer in response and burying himself in the warmth of the younger boy, his mind finally at peace, the emptiness that had once plagued him driven away by the boy he held in his arms.


End file.
